出场曲——《上海滩》
武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, the most famous, the most clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister Pan jinlian! She killed my brother Wu dalang. I told my sister Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. 唉….You know she is dangerous.(舞曲——《dangerous》跳舞)
武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, the most famous, the most clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister Pan jinlian! She killed my brother Wu dalang. I told my sister Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. 唉….You know she is dangerous.(舞曲——《dangerous》跳舞)
(客栈牌子飘过)：A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. Waiter! Wine! The best win
小二：Hi, sir. （檫桌子）你是武松我是虎Sit down please. （行礼）Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?（展示酒）
武松：（抓头发）How much is the XO?
小二：1000( 展示酒)。
武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）
武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou! It’s strong enough.
小二 ：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.
武松：Anything to eat?
小二：Hi, sir. （檫桌子）你是武松我是虎Sit down please. （行礼）Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?（展示酒）
武松：（抓头发）How much is the XO?
小二：1000( 展示酒)。
武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）
武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou! It’s strong enough.
小二 ：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.
武松：Anything to eat?
小二：Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?
武松：Ten pizzas, please.
小二: Here you are!
武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!
（小二上了两碗酒，武松喝了，却是不再倒了）
武松：I want more wine. Why not serve me?
小二：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way!
武松：(生气) Why? I have money! (怒喝，将钱拍在桌上)
小二：Look! ( “三碗不过冈”牌子飘过)。
武松：Ten pizzas, please.
小二: Here you are!
武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!
（小二上了两碗酒，武松喝了，却是不再倒了）
武松：I want more wine. Why not serve me?
小二：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way!
武松：(生气) Why? I have money! (怒喝，将钱拍在桌上)
小二：Look! ( “三碗不过冈”牌子飘过)。
武松：san wan bu guo gang
小二：This wine is very strong. One bowl, comfortable. Two bowls, can’t walk. Three bowls, drunk and fall!，(店小二示范)
武松：（喝一口，挤笑）Who am i? Wu Song! Even 18 bowls is nothing for me. Give me wine!(咆哮，敲桌子)
小二：But you must call this number first.(棺材预订飘过) Then I will serve you more wine.
武松：（勉强同意，接手机）Nokia ！Hello!.......
小二：Here is your wine. But your last meal, I think
武松：（勉强同意，接手机）Nokia ！Hello!.......
小二：Here is your wine. But your last meal, I think
小二：Oh, my god. You want to die? There is a tiger there. You’d better not go today. It’s dark.
武松：(醉醺醺地) A tiger? I’ll kill it! Look ! I am so strong. I am good at Kong Fu!(秀肌肉，舞弄棍子，踢腿。)
小二：You are drunk. Don’t go.
小二：You are drunk. Don’t go.
武松：(生气) Go away! (摇摇晃晃走了)
小二：（祈祷）e mi tuo fo! God bless you! A men!
第二幕：打虎
（武松提着短棍，摇摇晃晃地向景阳冈走去）
（武松提着短棍，摇摇晃晃地向景阳冈走去）
出场曲——《命运》老虎给力登场
老虎：I'm tiger.
（双方僵持）
武松：Oh！My god! It’s a real mother tiger! ( 跪地求饶) Miss tiger. let me go! My mother is 80 years old. My son is only 2 years old. Please. Please!
老虎：(大笑) I like pork. I like beef. I like chicken. But my favourite is man meat.And I like dong ya bin fu（添舌）Ha, ha…（准备扑过去）
武松：（做暂停手势）Stop! Let me have a look. Are you a real tiger? 等等， 你是真老虎吗？
老虎：Of course! Come and see. （摆Pose）
武松：Oh！My god! It’s a real mother tiger! ( 跪地求饶) Miss tiger. let me go! My mother is 80 years old. My son is only 2 years old. Please. Please!
老虎：(大笑) I like pork. I like beef. I like chicken. But my favourite is man meat.And I like dong ya bin fu（添舌）Ha, ha…（准备扑过去）
武松：（做暂停手势）Stop! Let me have a look. Are you a real tiger? 等等， 你是真老虎吗？
老虎：Of course! Come and see. （摆Pose）
武松：Yes, yes. You are real. Can I take a photo? I will put it on the newspaper（展示海报）
老虎：Newspaper? Super star! Great! Come on! 上报纸？太好了。 来吧, 拍吧！（摆pose） （武松拍照）
老虎：（眼睛被闪花了。东摸西摸。）Oh, no. I can’t see now! Oh, no!
武松：(举起棍子就打) I will kill you and sell you for lots of money!
老虎：Oh ! I will eat you!
插曲——《斗牛曲》
老虎：Eat you!（武松抽出红布，老虎撞后被遮住）oh no
老虎：（眼睛被闪花了。东摸西摸。）Oh, no. I can’t see now! Oh, no!
武松：(举起棍子就打) I will kill you and sell you for lots of money!
老虎：Oh ! I will eat you!
插曲——《斗牛曲》
老虎：Eat you!（武松抽出红布，老虎撞后被遮住）oh no
武松提棍子再打。 被老虎拿掉红布，挡掉攻击！
双方打太极~~~
武松脱掉鞋子向老虎扔去。老虎接住鞋子，一闻,大叫一声
老虎：my god！Hong Kong foot!
老虎瞬时被臭得晕了过去。武松抓住时机上前一阵狂扁。老虎醒来拼命呼吸，武松把另一只鞋子在它脸上一晃。老虎一，彻底呜呼！
武松：Great！. I am too tired.( 枕着老虎就睡着了。鼾声阵阵….)
第二天早上，（公鸡啼叫…喔，喔！）武松醒来。
武松：Oh,I killed the tiger!（锯下老虎帽戴上）I am the hero!hero! Hero! Hero!......(招手扔棍)
武松：Great！. I am too tired.( 枕着老虎就睡着了。鼾声阵阵….)
第二天早上，（公鸡啼叫…喔，喔！）武松醒来。
武松：Oh,I killed the tiger!（锯下老虎帽戴上）I am the hero!hero! Hero! Hero!......(招手扔棍)
（突然警笛声响起！）警察来到，捡起棍子
警察：（口吃）You killed the tiger?（打武松，武松抱头）We should protect tigers! （再打）Follow us to the police station!抓住武松走）
武松：Why? Why? I’m the hero. Let me go! Let me go! …..
警察：（口吃）You killed the tiger?（打武松，武松抱头）We should protect tigers! （再打）Follow us to the police station!抓住武松走）
武松：Why? Why? I’m the hero. Let me go! Let me go! …..
离场————————————————————————————谢幕
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