Oh, my God!
I know. Monica's gonna have a baby!
Can this count as her "something new"?
Oh, my God.
Do you think this is why he took off?
She had to have just taken it. I took out the trash last night.
It's turning into the worst wedding ever.
The bride's pregnant, the groom's missing and I'm holding this.
Phoebe, we cannot tell anyone about this.
-Right. Yeah. -Okay?
Do you know what kind of birth control she uses?
all i want is everything
No. Why?
Just for the future. This is hardly a commercial for it.
The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding
15
No. I talked to Joey. He hasn't heard from him.
I talked to Chandler's parents again.
-You said he was missing? -No.
It seemed like I called to chat.
Pretty sure they both think I'm interested.
-We've got to tell her. -No, we can't.
She'll start getting ready soon.
Can't you stall her? I'll go to the places I went last night.
How much time?
How long before she has to get ready?
-One hour. -Give me two.
Then why do you ask?
-Wish me luck. -I'm going with you.
Why?
You're tired. You looked all night. And clearly, you suck at this.
See you later.
Wait, do you know how you're gonna stall her?
-I'll figure something out. -Okay, good luck.
Let's start with my makeup and then do my hair.
Okay. But before you do that, I need you to talk to me.
About what?
I'm never gonna get married!
You will. The right guy's around the corner.
Okay, are we done with that?
No, I'm serious.
Maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.
Any woman would be lucky to have you.
Maybe I'd feel better if I slept with Joey.
Rachel? Are you okay?
Excuse me, Aaron? I have a little problem with the schedule.
I wasn't supposed to work today. I have a wedding that I have to be at.
It's my best friend's, and I'
...so I really can't work past 4.
You've gotta stay until the end. We can't stop filming just for you.
It's not like it's your wedding.
I'm having surgery.
What?
I made up the wedding, because I didn't want you to worry.
But I'm having surgery today.
What kind of surgery?
Transplant.
You're supposed to work on Monday.
Hair transplant.
But you're not bald.
It's not on my head.
There's nothing I can do. You'll probably be out by 4 anyway.
We've got one scene. It's just you and Richard, and he's a pro.
You'll be fine.
Morning, Richard.
Hey, you're here! Great! Let's go, buddy!
We got a scene to shoot!
I'm wearing two belts.
-Are you drunk? -No.
Yes, you are!
All right.
So this is your office?
How'd you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym.
-What the hell are you doing? -Panicking.
And using the lnternet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica.
-How is she? -She doesn't know you're gone.
And she doesn't have to know. Come on, we're going home.
-I can't do that. -Why not?
If I go home, we're gonna become the Bings.
I can't be the Bings.
What's wrong with it?
The Bings have bad marriages.
They yell, fight, and use the
...as a pawn in their sexual games.
Have you ever put on a black dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
-No. -Then you are neither of your parents.
It's not just their marriage. Look at yours. Look at everybody's.
Only Paul Newman can make marriage work.
And I am no Paul Newman.
I don't race cars or make popcorn. None of my proceeds go to charity.
But look,
...right now no one has a lower opinion of you than I do.
But I totally believe you can do this.
I want to. I love her so much, but I'm afraid--
It's too huge.
You're right. It is huge.
So let's take it just a little bit at a time.
Forget getting married for a sec.
Can you just come home and take a shower?
That's not scary, right?
Depends on what you mean by "we."
The nights are the hardest.
But then the
...and that's every bit as hard as the night.
-Then the night comes-- -Days and nights are hard, I get it!
I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
I know. At dusk.
That's such a hard time for me.
I'm gonna put makeup on. We have to be there in an hour.
-Wait! -What?
Let's go to lunch!
I can't go to lunch!
Right.
Oh, good God, I've fallen down.
What's going on?
All right, honey, listen.
When I tell you what I'm about to tell you,
...that we're all here for you, and we love you.