00：00
What are you doing on this stage in front of all these people?
你站在这个舞台上做什么？ 还当着这么多人的面？
00:08
(Laughter)
（笑声）
00:09
Run!
快逃！
00:11
(Laughter)
（笑声）
00:11
Run now.
马上逃跑！
00:14
That's the voice of my anxiety talking. Even when there's absolutely nothing wrong, I sometimes get this overwhelming sense of doom, like danger is lurking just around the corner.
这是我内心的紧张情绪在说话。 即便一切都进行得很顺利， 我也经常会有这种巨大的挫败感， 总觉得危险无处不在。
00:29
You see, a few years ago, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and depression -- two conditions that often go hand in hand. Now, there was a time I wouldn't have told anybody, especially not in front of a big audience. As a black woman, I've had to develop extraordinary resilience to succeed. And like most people in my community, I had the misconception that depression was a sign of weakness, a character flaw. But I wasn't weak; I was a high achiever. I'd earned a Master's degree in Media Studies and had a string of high-profile jobs in the film and television industries. I'd even won two Emmy Awards for my hard work. Sure, I was totally spent, I lacked interest in things I used to enjoy, barely ate, struggled with insomnia and felt isolated and depleted. But depressed? No, not me.
几年前， 我被诊断出患有焦虑症， 和抑郁症—— 这两种疾病经常会同时发生。 这段经历我本不愿跟任何人分享， 尤其是当着这么多人的面。 作为一名黑人女性， 我必须有极强的 适应能力才能取得成功。 如同我社区中的大部分人一样， 我误以为抑郁症是软弱的表现， 是一种人格缺陷。 但我并不软弱， 我还蛮成功的。 我获得了媒体研究的硕士学位， 在电影和电视行业 有一系列不错的履历。 我的出表现 还让我获得了两次艾美奖。 没错，我感到精
疲力尽， 我对之前喜欢的事情丧失了兴趣， 茶饭不思， 被失眠所困扰， 觉得孤单和消沉。 但是抑郁症？ 跟我没什么关系吧。 from silence
01:27
It took weeks before I could admit it, but the doctor was right: I was depressed. Still, I didn't tell anybody about my diagnosis. I was too ashamed. I didn't think I had the right to be depressed. I had a privileged life with a loving family and a successful career. And when I thought about the unspeakable horrors that my ancestors had been through in this country so that I could have it better, my shame grew even deeper. I was standing on their shoulders. How could I let them down? I would hold my head up, put a smile on my face and never tell a soul.
过了好几周我才承认， 医生是对的， 我的确抑郁了。 但我仍然没有告诉任何人。 我觉得羞愧难当。 我从没想过我也有抑郁的权利。 我生活条件优越， 家庭幸福，事业有成。 尤其当我想到， 正因为我的祖先们在这个国家 遭受到那些无法描述的苦难， 所以我才能过得好一些， 我就越发感到愧疚。 我是站在他们肩膀上的。 我怎么能让他们失望呢？ 我只能昂起头，
面带微笑， 不对任何人说。
02:14
On July 4, 2013, my world came crashing in on me. That was the day I got a phone call from my mom telling me that my 22-year-old nephew, Paul, had ended his life, after years of battling depression and anxiety. There are no words that can describe the devastation I felt. Paul and I were very close, but I had no idea he was in so much pain. Neither one of us had ever talked to the other about our struggles. The shame and stigma kept us both silent.
我的世界彻底崩溃了。 2013年7月4日，我接到母亲的电话， 说我22岁的侄子，保罗， 在与焦虑症和抑郁症抗争多年之后， 结束了自己的生命。 没有语言足以形容我的绝望。 我跟保罗很亲密， 但我从来不知道 他遭受着如此大的痛苦。 我们也从未跟对方提起过 自己的挣扎与抗争。 羞愧与耻辱感让我俩都保持沉默。
02:44
Now, my way of dealing with adversity is to face it head on, so I spent the next two years researching depression and anxiety, and what I found was mind-blowing. The World Health Organization reports that depression is the leading cause of sickness and disability in the world. While the exact cause of depression isn't clear, research suggests that most mental disorders develop, at least in part, because of a chemical imbalance in the brain, and/or an underlying genetic predisposition. So you can't just shake it off.
现在，我应对逆境的方式 就是昂首向前， 接下来我花了两年时间 来研究抑郁症和焦虑症， 而结果让我大吃一惊。 根据世界卫生组织的报告， 抑郁症是在世界范围内 导致疾病和伤残 最主要的原因。 导致抑郁症的准确原因尚不清楚， 研究显示，大部分精神疾病的发生， 至少有一部分原因， 是因为大脑化学物质的不平衡， 以及/或者潜在的遗传易感性。 因此你无法根除它。
03:22
For black Americans, stressors like racism and socioeconomic disparities put them at a 20 percent greater risk of developing a mental disorder, yet they seek mental health services a
t about half the rate of white Americans. One reason is the stigma, with 63 percent of black Americans mistaking depression for a weakness. Sadly, the suicide rate among black children has doubled in the past 20 years.